In Memoriam: Rogisms for Living

My dear husband, Dr. Roger McIntire, passed away November 23, 2024. As psychology professor at the University of Maryland, therapist, author, and father, Roger was a strong advocate for better parenting of children and teenagers. His popular book, Teenagers & Parents: 10 Steps for a Better Relationship, has been revised and printed several times. Latest edition is called Teens 10 to 20: 104 Answers to the Top 12 Questions Parents Ask.

Rog was an avid soccer fan, coach, player, and referee. He loved flying and enjoyed many hours as a private pilot flying friends and family in his Cessna 172. He also enjoyed sailing, scuba diving, and traveling the world with his wife Eileen, visiting Morocco, Gibraltar, Italy, Scandinavia, the Baltic countries, Australia, New Zealand, Peru, and the Galapagos, among other countries. He was a long time member of the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Columbia.

Throughout his life, Roger put his scientific understanding and his love and kindness in action on behalf of children, families, and the larger community. May his legacy continue to take root and bring forth love, tolerance, and understanding.

Rog’s books contained many thoughtful sayings about parenting and relationships, which we call Rogisms. Here are a few of them.

Rogisms

You can’t grow a garden just by pulling weeds.

You have to plant something.

Catch them being good and let them know.

Be careful where you shine your light,

because that is what you will find.

Raise your head up above the weeds every once

n a while to make sure you’re headed

in the right direction.

Happiness is a do-it-yourself job.

If you want to be interesting, be interested.

Listen for what they didn’t say.

Is there so much love in the world that

we can afford to condemn any love?

Your children may know you love them,

but do they know you like them? Show them.

Pay attention to the good things in life and

in yourself to help them grow.

Time is more valuable than money.

You can get more money,

but you can’t get more time.

For a good relationship, keep the ratio of

positive feedback to constructive criticism 9 to 1.

Don’t waste your time and energy worrying about

choices you don’t have to make.

Give a nice day.