MicroAggression: Too Big a Word

As a writer of fiction, I am interested in relationships, emotions, and word meanings. So I recently attended a workshop on Microaggressions, and it has left me puzzled, annoyed, and slightly alarmed.

What is microaggression? Psychology Today defines it as a subtle, often unintentional, form of prejudice that reminds the target of their marginalization. Asking a woman office worker to get the coffee, for instance, or telling a Hispanic-appearing or black person that their English is quite good or a woman that she should smile more. But is opening the door for an older person a microaggression or a considerate behavior?

My concern is that pushing every mistaken assumption and misguided attempt at connection, kindness, or consideration into the “microaggression” category will make people afraid of saying anything at all, adding another barrier to connections with others.

The workshop leader provided examples that covered too wide a range of behaviors if part of the word is “aggression.” That implies hostility, a statement that puts down someone or puts them in “their place.” Examples of microaggression would be subtle remarks using stereotypes and prejudice to refer to a person’s race, ethnicity, disabilities, age, or anything else that makes them “different.” The key is the aggression part which, seems to me, imparts a degree of hostility.

But what about comments that are born from assumptions, ignorance, or even kindness and consideration that are unintentionally said to a marginalized person? These remarks reinforce a person’s “otherness” and while not hurtful may not be welcome, but they are not aggressive and not hostile. Saying to an older person, “Why don’t you take my chair?” or “Can I help you with the door?” is meant to be kind and considerate. An older person may not appreciate being pushed into a marginalized category, but is it a microaggression? I don’t think so. This kind of remark needs a different name than microaggression.

“I don’t need the microphone; I speak loudly enough.” This is also not a microagression but thoughtless lack of consideration, easily corrected. It does not single out a marginalized person, but it does force the person with a hearing disability to insist on the microphone or strain to hear. The speaker needs to be made aware the microphone is necessary so everyone can hear. No hostile intent and no one singled out as part of a marginalized group so not a microaggression. This type of remark  also needs a different name. However, if the speaker is told they are speaking to a hearing-disabled person and then speaks softly, I would call that a microaggression.

Despite our best intentions, most of us make assumptions based on prejudice, lack of information, or thoughtlessness and may act or say something reflecting these assumptions. But if they reflect prejudice or stereotypes about marginalized people, we could call them microaggressions.

We also have ingrained habits where we mean well but that may result in actions meant to connect us with the other person but are insensitive or inconsiderate. It is good to become aware of what we say and do that is hurtful or pushes people into “otherness” so we can be more mindful of what we say. But the term “microaggression” should be limited to specific behaviors that are underlyingly hostile and single out marginalized persons.

Let’s be mindful that including as microaggressions a broad array of benign behaviors usually meant to be kind and considerate adds the fear of making a mistake into communication and inhibits the delicate net of connectiveness.